I believe that everything that happens in our lives is part of God's perfect plan. Even when His plan is not what or how we envisioned how our perfect plan would be. He's a God that likes to "wow" you in His own timing. In moments when you start to doubt, and you want to give up, when you are stuck trying to wrap your brain around something that seems so impossible and you start to wonder if you are actually meant to do something, He steps in and you say "wow."
When I was applying for STEP I 100% felt that was where God had wanted me. I printed off the application, filled in every question, got my references, mailed it, and waited... and waited... and waited and as the weeks went on I came to the realization that I must have heard God's call wrong. It had been weeks and I hadn't heard even a "sorry to inform you" email. When I was about to give up and start looking for the "what's next" my mom said, "well maybe they never got it." I wasn't sure but even so, I contacted the head of the STEP program who replied saying "no we haven't received your application." This lead to the two week search of trying to find my application and getting it re-mailed to the right location. Over all this time I slowly felt myself start to doubt if STEP was where I was supposed to be. I mean if it was why did my application take so long to get where it was supposed to be? Another week went by and the STEP head contacted me saying I had been approved for the phone interview. After all the interviewing process was completed I heard back saying I had been accepted. Again I felt "oh yes this 100% where God wants me."
After being accepted I started making plans of how I was going to raise my financial support, I sent out tons of letters, I set dates to speak to churches, I talked to every person I knew and I waited... and I waited, and again I started to doubt that this was God's plan for my life. I didn't understand why I had been accepted if I couldn't raise any funds. So I started to think that maybe I should pull out of the program, because even if I picked up every available shift at work I would never be able to meet the deadline. These are the moments I really believe God enjoys. Those moments when we are totally feel beat down and unsure of whats next when He steps in and we say "wow."
For me this happened driving home from school and I was set, when I get home I would email the STEP head and tell her I've decided not to go, that this isn't where God wanted me. And when I got home to a letter from two missionary friends visiting from Scotland, and in that moment I realized that God was saying "Hannah your not giving up on STEP." Because in this letter was what extra money these missionaries had received for coming to Canada and they felt it was meant for me, so I could make it to Spain.
As the months went on slowly the funds started to amount to the numbers I needed to make 50% of my funds, and when 50% was due on October 15th I had it. I have no idea how I got it but God is so good.
And now after a rollercoaster of doubt, I am going into my last two months before starting this journey, and God is still showing how good He is and how this is truly His plan for my life. Even though I faced a lot of doubt during this period, I can see how God was teaching me so much more, that with Him you can do all things, and that He knows what you need more then you do, and sometimes He's going to make you wait because He wants you to fully trust in Him and trust in His timing.
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I'm so thankful for everyone of you who has contributed to my journey so far, both through prayer and financial support (and for those who took the time to read my amateur blog!). I truly feel that each one of you have played an important role in planting and caring for this seed in my life. I look forward to sharing my experience with each one of my readers over the next 8 months! If you would like more information on how to get involved through prayer and financial gifts you can contact me at hannahhoover.STEP@gmail.com or click here! And select Hannah Hoover from the drop down tab.
